How the Freedom Fighters Liberated Christmas
by Professor V
Summary: SatAM. Not content with roboticizing the innocent and generally ruling the world, Robotnik has decided to steal Christmas as well and keep it all for himself. So the Knothole Freedom Fighters are going to steal it back.


This is an idea that came to me after watching the classic cartoon version of "_How the Grinch Stole Christmas_" a couple nights ago. Consider it both a gift for my fellow fans and writers and a peace offering for the complete lack of updates these past months. With any luck, I'll be more active next year. Until then, however, enjoy my latest poetic parody.

All characters are property of SEGA, DiC etc, special thanks to Mae Bedlam for proofreading and many apologies to Dr Seuss.

* * *

_**"How the Freedom Fighters Liberated Christmas"  
**_**by Professor Vengeance**

Twas the night before Christmas, a little clichè  
But could you start this poem a different way?  
In dank Robotropolis, our story takes place  
As the young Freedom Fighters left Uncle Chuck's base.  
SWATbots patrolled to the left, to the right  
But the crafty young Mobians stayed out of sight.  
They crept through the alleys and snuck through the streets  
Past huge Hover Units alert on their beats.  
They crawled past the cameras, as though no big deal,  
That guarded the scrapyards of twisted old steel  
And into the scrapyards it was that they crept  
With the sneaky spy skills at which they were adept  
And they slipped through the junkpiles and puddles of goo  
And came to a halt at pile 4472.  
Their mission was simple, the brief was as such;  
To liberate Christmas from Julian's clutch.

You see, Dr Robotnik's a beast of a man  
And he was the reason that Christmas was banned.  
It may have been that his mustashe was too long  
Or his gut was too large or his feet had a pong  
But whatever the reason, he banned the whole hog  
And he stole every present, tree, wreath and yule log.  
Since he locked up the holiday and threw out the key  
The Mobians were going to set Christmas free.  
From out of the junkpile, they pulled a machine  
That they'd hidden away so it couldn't be seen.  
Twas a huge vaccuum cleaner, now coated in grime  
That Rotor had rustled up in his spare time.  
They hopped down a hole that young Sonic had made  
And they tunneled down under the bot barricades  
And they tunneled and tunneled till Sally called "Stop!"  
And the hedgehog burst up through the floor with a 'pop'!

The room was the largest that they'd ever seen  
With streamers of blue, orange, yellow and green.  
A mile's worth of tinsel shone bright in the dark  
Round so many trees, the place felt like a park!  
There were lights every colour the spectrum can tell us.  
(Their brightness was starting to make Antoine jealous!)  
A Santa hat mountain was stored there as well  
While a mountain of stockings gave off a bad smell.  
Behind them, a massive wreath hung on the door.  
At least six hundred parcels sat piled on the floor!  
The packages piled right up to the ceiling.  
Oh, the wrath and resentment that they were all feeling!  
"How on earth can one man be so greedy?" breathed Sally.  
"Who knows?" replied Bunnie, "But we can't dilly-dally!"  
"You're right," said the ground squirrel, "Let's humble this jerk!"  
And they each cracked their knuckles and got straight to work.

They bagged all the baubles and took all the trees.  
They stole all the streamers with relative ease.  
They thieved all the tinsel and stockings that smelled.  
They sucked up the Santa hat mountain as well!  
They pilfered the parcels and larcened the lights.  
They hoovered up everything there in their sights!  
The ribbons, the wrappers, the crackers and treats.  
They even sucked up the door's massive green wreath!  
At last, Sonic cried, "Hey, guys! Look over here!"  
And the Mobians scurried on o'er for a peer.  
Beneath all the wrapping, near buried for good,  
Was a huge silver locker jam-packed full of food;  
Potatoes and cakes, chipolatas and sweets  
Eggnog, sauces, pies, trifle and four kinds of meats  
And a succulant turkey, already through plucking.  
"That covers the feast," chuckled Sonic, "Get sucking!"

They vaccuumed and hoovered for what seemed like hours  
With kudos to Sonic's unnatural powers.  
As the last of the presents, though, fell down the drain  
A steel fist rapped the door again and again.  
"The SWATbutts!" cried Sonic, "Guess we'd better motor."  
And grabbed hold of Sal', Bunnie, Antoine and Rotor  
And as the huge vaccuum began to retract  
They zoomed down the hole and they didn't look back.  
As the hole was re-covered, the door, it did blow  
And in waddled Robotnik with Snively in tow.  
"My gifts!" cried the Doctor, "My tinsel and trees  
Have been pinched by those vermin infected with fleas!"  
Destroy them!", he bellowed, mouth starting to foam  
But he knew they'd already be safely back home.  
And as he pictured the Mobians laugh, sing and play  
Doc' Robotnik's blood pressure grew twelve times that day.

**FIN.**

* * *

Happy Christmas to all and to all, a good-night! 


End file.
